crying in h mart by Michelle Zahner
A journey of discovery
16 June 2021
A tremendous book. Family memoirs, if good, are gripping. On the one hand there is the human, universal recognition - the love, the expectations, the battles... and on the other, what makes a particular family that family in particular. Crying in H Mart does both with a very individual voice I had not heard before. The family is a triangle of father (American), mother (Korean), and child, Michelle, who, on losing her mother to cancer at 26, looks at her life and relationship with her examining in the process her cultural identity, and its formation and evolution.
Food, Korean food to be precise, is central to this mother/daughter story (the father, whilst being a secondary character, has presence and even pathos). The intricacies of this new to me cuisine, its otherness, truly captured for me the deep cultural differences which nevertheless are universal in their ultimate meaning as they act as ties to the past, to a place, to a time, to a mother. Proust is mentioned in passing (Peter, the boyfriend, has read him) and although this narrative is not Proustian (the prose is straightforward, with an excellent way of expressing feelings and capturing the physicality of place without repetition or multi-faceted viewpoints) there are many madeleines being conjured for us, and all made sense. I was captivated by this coming-of-age story which resonated with mine and other friends' stories. The way she tackles her mother's illness and death is realistic, poignant, compelling. A book which will withstand more than one reading, and indeed a number of discussions on so many real topics, from family relationships, to the cultural value of food, to becoming an artist...
Thank you so much to Picador via NetGalley for allowing me to read an advance copy of this excellent book.